Turkey Artichoke

October 13, 2009.

Alright, alright, so yes I was being melodramatic the other day. I just hated the thought of not having my hair back until next summer!

I actually got up yesterday for class and did my bangs and did my hair (then decided to pull it back into the worlds smallest ponytail) and I got quite a few compliment from my classmates at class and then at rehearsal after, so it made me a bit more hopeful. My biggest problem right now though is just my headshots and that may not even be much of a problem for too much longer. My acting class partner said she'd take pictures for me. Perfect!

I just need a few to get by until my hair grows out. Then I can go back to the old ones, if I still like the message they're sending.

Yesterday put me in a better mood. Still, it will be a challenging month. Went to see 'Zombieland' with Lacey last night. Good movie, go see it! Emma Stone is my new hero and I want to be her. She always plays awesome roles that I could totally do. And she's cute but she's no “Hollywood hottie”, she just manages to make her career on her talent. Like everyone should.

For new things I tried yesterday, I tried a new sandwich at Panera. Gross. Turkey Artichoke. Never again.

And as for last night we invited a guy to come over and chill with us that we had met at the restaurant the other night when I was working the late night. He's super fun and super adorable. Nikki keeps telling us that one of us needs to “claim” him. I keep telling her that I don't want to because we need some guy friends that are just friends. And personally I feel that if one of us “claims” him and we jump into something and it doesn't work out, well there goes a potential really great friend. If something's meant to be between him and one of us (God, I hate that Lacey and I are so alike) then it will develop over time and be ten times more meaningful than if we just “bed him” now.

I'm over jumping in. I'm ready to take my sweet time. I want a boyfriend, not a plaything.

Well, we had a lot of fun last night with a bottle of wine and a few rounds of “Apples to Apples”. Hope we do that again soon.

Today, I have the day off, but I am doing a couple of rehearsals for acting class as well as my female quartet. So, it will be a creatively fulfilling day. I should definitely work out somewhere in there as well. I was hoping for a dance class in this area, but damn this is a small town with very few choices.

Alright...onward and upward and don't get the Turkey Artichoke Sandwich from Panera.

Awkward First Date

October 4, 2009.

Well today was definitely one for my book of firsts. I went on an awkward first date with that guy I met at the restaurant.

He's a marine.

Just got back from Iraq 6mo's ago.

Very conservative. (I'm very liberal)

Calls me “sweety” or “baby”.

Is gonna think of something fun for us to do this wednesday. (I might not go.)

This just constantly makes me feel as if there is something wrong with me. I meet guy after guy and none of them click. Was dating always this hard? Or does it just become harder when you know what you want and refuse to settle? I think I answered my own question.

I mean I had a good time with the Marine. I wouldn't call it a great time. It was quite dull at moments. We did walk around the Hometown Fair, checked out some art, took a political quiz (to discover which end of the spectrum we were on...um, complete opposites), then he walked with me to work and had a beer until I had to clock in. He's nice. He's quirky. He's got tattoes. I just feel like I had to force a lot of the conversation, a lot of the time.

Then there was work. Oh God how I loathe my job. I seriously wanted to shoot myself and actually considered just walking out. But these chains, oh dear Lord, these chains that bind me...called rent, bills, gas money, acting classes. I couldn't leave.

It was F*ing Chuck e Cheese in the restaurant tonight. Every table I got had about three to six kids and I couldn't move a foot without tripping over a babydoll stroller.

I don't like kids. Especially misbehaved kids. Misbehaved Parents are even worse and I had my fair share of them this evening as well. Customer Service sucks my balls, excuse the foul language, but it's helping me to vent about work!

I just have to keep telling myself, someday it will all be over and done with. No more waiting tables, no more fake smiles, no more “Oh, I'm so sorry, I'm an idiot, I didn't realize you needed me to wipe your ass as well as put the food into your mouth, because you are incapable of doing so yourself, your drinks are on me!”

GET ME OUT OF HERE! This is the strongest motivation I have ever had to get my acting career on its feet and high into the air! Hollywood here I...no, Hollywood, I'm right here! Notice me!!

Everyone should have to serve food at some point in their lives, the world would be a better place and I wholeheartedly believe that. Good night.