Positively Positive

October 5, 2009.

Today was great. Sort of.

Went back to an acting class I haven't been to in about two months (due to lack of funds) and felt super uber confident and happy with my work. Then I went on a shopping spree at Urban Outfitters (God, I love that store) and bought an incredibly adorable new dress to wear on my audition this evening.

It did the trick. I got a callback (second audition, that's a good thing) for this friday and if I get cast...well, I'm gonna be part of the next season of a show, but the title will remain confidential (sorry!). So, keep your fingers crossed on friday for me!

Then when I got home I received more good news about my acting career, a director emailed me requesting that I come in for an audition this saturday for his upcoming project as well as do a quick shoot on saturday for a project he's currently filming. Sweet! I'm there!

My horoscope did say October would be a great month for my career! I'm stoked and couldn't be happier with the way things are going acting-wise.

However, the part of my life that always gives me aches and pains...men. Ugh. Those of you who've read my previous blog know of Seattle. Well, Seattle struck again. I even hate writing about him because I feel like the only reason he enters my life is in hopes of being a part of my blog (yes, he still reads it.)

But, my problem is, why is it so hard for women to get past things? I know we need closure, but what kind of closure are we looking for? Seattle and I tried the friends thing. It didn't work for me. I tried the hateful thoughts thing. It doesn't work for me. Seattle's got a girlfriend now...clearly he's moved on. Why can't I?

I think what it is is that I'm taking out my anger toward men, all men, specifically, out on Seattle, he's just an easy target. He's the last guy I had genuine feelings for and that I thought had genuine feelings for me. I guess that's my problem, that whole situation makes me feel so unlovable. Arghghggghhh!! I don't want to write about this stuff anymore, that's why I stopped “Year of My Fake Engagement”. It does me no good! So I need to just focus on the positive, my career.

Focus on the POSITIVE!!!

Back to Basics

September 13, 2009.

Since I made my decision to end my previous blog, “Year of My Fake Engagement”, I have felt like a ton of bricks has been lifted off my shoulders. It was really, truly bringing me down! I had no idea. But, yesterday, all day I was feeling the happiest and most confident I've felt in a very long time. I felt like me!

This blog is going to be just about basically whatever I want it to be about, boys may make guest appearances every now and then, but they will no longer be the deciding factor of what I'm writing about.

Also, I plan on trying lots of new things for the rest of the year. I started this yesterday by (Drum roll please...) going to work sans makeup. Now I know this sounds stupid. However, if you've ever been a server or ever lived in L.A. you would know that people don't step two feet out of their house or two feet out of their bedrooms for that matter without caking on the makeup.

Now, I've always been a fan of au natural. I went to college in a very hippie town (shout out to New Paltz!) and I'm not the biggest fan of showering. Of course I still do it every day, I wouldn't want you guys to think this blog is being written by a smelly girl who's best friends with the flies circling around her! So, I'm most comfortable when I'm not wearing makeup...at least at home. But when it comes to work, where you're taking people's orders and constantly staring people in the face, you have to look good. Especially if you want that awesome tip at the end of the night.

So, out comes the eyeliner, mascara, eyelash curler, hair straightener, blush, cover up, eye shadow, lip gloss....ew! You're putting all that fake gross unnatural stuff on your face. So, yesterday before work, I went for a run with my roomie Lacey, and after my shower, I just looked in the mirror and saw this happy, glowing complexion and figured, why cover that up?

I walked out the door and so that I didn't even have a chance to reconsider I left my makeup behind.

Alright, so when I got to work, I did start to panic, a little. I borrowed some mascara from Nikki, my other roomie, who was already at work. But that's all I let myself do. Not so bad!

What I learned from this: I felt more beautiful and more confident then I have all year. This could also be due to how happy I was. But, after a full five hours of work with no makeup, I even went out to a bar, sans makeup. Again, I reapplied a little mascara, but that was it. I was rather proud of myself.

And, believe it or not...even in this crazy superficial town of L.A., I was getting lots of looks while at the bar bare faced. I think I may do this again. It just felt so good!

Yay! So that was a successful experiment. Not sure what today will bring. I work at 6pm, supposed to have a drink with a friend who also works in the valley after we get off and such is life. Life is good.

What did you do today out of your norm??