Unemployed and Extremely Happy

So yeah...i just kind of gave up on this blog. What a shame. A complete shame.

Many things in my life have changed and I wouldn't even know where to begin anymore. I'm still in Manhattan Beach, have the same roommates for another month then Nikki is moving out with her boyfriend. It's been a strained relationship with Nikki for the past 4 months. Weird...

Also, I quit my restaurant job only to get another restaurant job that, believe it or not, I hate even more. In two days, I will be unemployed and 100% happy.

I guess there isn't a more perfect time to restart this blog, because I can fill you in on my unemployment adventures. I am truly excited because I've been a very unhappy person as of late due to hating my job and thinking, "what am i doing with my life?" all the time.

I've got three very cool acting projects coming up within the next month and feel like this is going to be a springboard for my career. I've decided to take April off of acting class and my teacher is quite unhappy. She wrote me a sweet email letting me know she thinks I've grown tremendously since I started (an incredible compliment from her) and she's offering me free coaching to discuss the next steps for my career and my art. Awesome.

So, if you haven't abandoned me as I've abandoned you, please follow along as I take some huge scary steps towards an extremely unstable career. Sometimes you just have to leap with both feet!

Marathon's and Short Films

November 22, 2009.

I've been running hills with Lacey through our lovely Manhattan Beach town. It's brutal, but it feels great! We've decided we're gonna participate in the 5k night run in December. I'm psyched! It's gonna be my first marathon! Woohoo! I've got just under a month to get my endurance ready.

Yesterday, work was pretty slow, blah, but Lacey and I decided we wanted to have a fun random night. Well, fun and random it was! I am now very confused about a friendship turned more with a boy in my life. And...his friend, who I drunkenly made out with at the bar last night and thoroughly enjoyed. Now, I'm torn. Especially since the friend is the shyest boy I've ever dealt with and it has taken him forever and a day to make a move...and all we've done is kiss. I don't deal well with slowness.

Anywho, tonight is my first sunday off in awhile. Usually, I'm at an improv rehearsal or at work. I don't know what to do with myself!!!

Took a bath earlier, that was a first at my new apt. Think i'll do that again!

Tomorrow, I'm also excited about because York and I are starting our process of filming a short film that I wrote. Yay! I'm stoked to see how it turns out! Alright...gonna go watch a pageant with Lacey.

Support your local artists/friends

November 19, 2009.

Not too much to report about today. But I thought I'd share some writing with you that I took off of a friend of mine's blog. He's busy traveling the country, making beautiful music and finding himself. All the while recording his thoughts and wisdom to share with the world...hopefully resulting in an incredible book one day. Here's a passage I thought to be rather profound and lovely:

“to be more specific, my current existence makes the most sense in a crowded bar surrounded by friends (new or old), intoxicated just as much by stories and love as by drinks and with sights set on hope. my goal is to be among intelligent people who like talking about dumb things, among family members who aren’t afraid to explain the dirty/darker parts of their current existence, among strangers who realize that being strange is less fun than being familiar. we are all rats in a gutter or jewels on a crown. we are both, always. it’s your decision, and mine as well, to choose to be great, to be loved, to be important. when you make this choice, you win. i would be crazy to think that i was blessed with the best friends in the world. i know i’ve spoken of it before, but the fact of the matter is that they are in fact amazing, and i am in fact lucky to have them in my life. the question, though, is this a mistake? coincidence? i think that while i’ve done some terrible, horrible, reprehensible things in my life, i’ve also loved with my entire heart, given to as many as i can make sense of and hoped for the best for so many, that i’ve been lucky enough to be given some of that back in return. i also have realized that i deserve this. do you know why? i do because we all do. you do. i do. we all do. every fucking one of us. that’s right. so yes, you’ll hear strings. you’ll hear them tonight and tomorrow and hopefully for the rest of your once fucking miserable but quickly bettering life. you’ll realize that this all becomes big, huge, beautiful, like some delicious piece of naan bread puffed to beautiful perfection for us all to sink our teeth into. someday we’ll all realize that this is all bullshit and that is why it’s all beautiful. it’s not until we lose everything that we can have anything.”

I love this boy...he is a gift to the world! Check out his music on myspace: myspace.com/pjbondmusic. I'm shamelessly promoting him because he's incredible and deserves it. Let me know what you think!

Live Dangerously

November 18, 2009.

Went to my meeting with York today. Tried the Asian Noodle Salad from Aroma Cafe...not worth the 13 dollars. Aroma Cafe to me seems to be a cute place to hang out, and somewhere to go if you wanna be seen or to see celebs, but the food is way overpriced for what you get. Haven't fallen in love with something on the menu from there yet...

Then it was off to class. My scene went up third and I was terrified that my teacher would just watch the scene and say, “Wow, you really haven't rehearsed, it was just as boring as last time.” But, instead she told me I did “Nice work” and that I was “more in touch with [my] sexuality.” Last time I apparently was not sexy...at all. Because, I'm terrified to be sexy. It's been forever since someone has told me that I turn them on, or that I'm hot. Therefore, it's hard for me to view myself in that way. So today before class, I tried on many different outfits, trying to find the “sexy” in me.

I uncovered a shirt that I had forgotten I owned. My scene partner's last bit of advice at our last rehearsal was to find something a “little dangerous”. Well, with this shirt on, “Danger” was my first, middle and last name. So, I discarded my self doubt and went with it. It worked!

Also, I learned during the scene that I really need to start taking more chances! At one point, my scene partner grabbed my by my arm, pushed me against the wall, choked me and threatened me with a screwdriver. Sounds crazy right? Well, yes it was, and completely unexpected, but it's exactly what I needed to get out of myself and into the character!!! Live more dangerously!!!

Thank you scene partner! I'm going to do my best to take as many chances as possible with all my characters. How do you think Charlize Theron got where she is today? Definitely not by playing it safe.

Had to cancel dinner with Todd this evening, again. Lacey and I had promised to take out the photographers who did our headshots for free, for dinner. So tonight was the night. We went to Mama D's, an awesome little Italian place on Manhattan Blvd. There are Christmas lights everywhere as well, which is making me a little homesick, but I shall return home for Christmas so it's all good!

Now, it's almost midnight and I'm exhausted, still getting over my sickness, so I'm going to turn in and get lots of rest. Audition in the afternoon tomorrow – wish me luck! And then it's off to an always interesting evening at the restaurant. Wish me luck again – I need the money!

Going My Way...

November 17, 2009.

So the last time I posted I was busy with go-go dancers. Since five days have passed, many interesting things have gone on.

I worked all last weekend and at work I put into action “The Law of Attraction”. I've been listening to the audio cd in my car. My scene partner gave it to me a week ago and I decided it is definitely a time to change my life for the better and start attracting the things I truly want. Those things being:

1)A great relationship
2)A successful acting career
3)Enough money to live stressfree.

Since listening to the tapes I've been in a much more positive mindset about life in general and four men from my past have all of a sudden re-emerged. I received a call from a director from my past who has a part for me in something new, i'll be filming on the 25th and my money woes seems lesser by the day. The law of attraction seems to be working. However, now I must decide which of these guys I really do still want around.

Coffee with Todd went great. I apologized and told him mostly everything I'd been thinking about the situation. He was pretty honest too, which I greatly appreciated. I did leave feeling even more confused, however. We hugged goodbye, I buried my face in his neck and found that I was the one having a hard time letting go.

He has text me since and we've been trying to set up a dinner date, but plans keep getting foiled. Is this a sign? Eek. Tomorrow is possibly our second attempt at dinner, but now I may be taking out a couple of photographers for dinner because they did free headshots for me and Lacey.

New things I am trying this next month or so: I just broke down and ordered SkinID. I am 25 and an actress and I need clear skin. I've had pimples since I was 12 and I'm so over it. I want to be able to go sans makeup every day and feel completely confident about it. So, here I go with a new skin care regimen. I hope it works! And I'll let you know!

Tomorrow I have my meeting with York and class. I'm psyched for both. York and I are going to start filming soon and I can't wait! I've taken a much too long hiatus from filming. Then in class I'm doing my scene and I'm pumped for it, but have no idea how it's going to turn out, because I've just been internalizing it way too much and haven't had much time to actually put it on it's feet. I love my scene partner, he's become like my life manager...he's been in the business for quite awhile and he's really talented and loves to give advice. I love getting advice. And yesterday when we were rehearsing he told me, “You have it, Irene, you're gonna make it. I've got a little invested in you, so don't disappoint me.” It really inspired me to not disappoint him. I want to be fabulous! I'm going to be fabulous! Just you wait! You'll be seeing me on the big screen!


Hope that didn't come off as pompous, it was meant more as a motivational speech for myself! Alright, more adventures to come soon!

Boystown Glory Days

November 12, 2009.

Well, I made out with a stripper last night. Ok, so he wasn't really a stripper, I guess, more of a gogo dancer.

We went to boystown last night to celebrate Nikki's official name change. She got a divorce a few years back and had yet to file the rest of the papers to change her name back to her maiden. So last night it was official and we got officially F*d up.

It was a blast and I remember putting the dollar bill in the very attractive dancers very tiny speedo, and I remember him getting off the stage/podium, whatever it may be and dancing up close to me and I remember him saying in my ear, “I'm gonna get fired for this” as he grabbed my boob.

But, I don't remember walking out of the club informing every passer by, “Those dancers are not gay! Sorry guys!” and I don't remember peeing outside of Carl's Jr. somewhere...and I don't remember climbing into bed and drunk texting one of my guy friends, trying to get him to come over.

Oh alcohol...how I love and hate you so!

It was a fun night and one tidbit I left out was that I text Todd (for those of you who followed my other blog you'll remember he's the one I sort of had a very confusing relationship with that just ended with no explanation, no follow up and no closure.) Well, I text him, “Sometimes I really miss you.” And I expected absolutely no response. However, this morning I received the response, “I more than 'sometimes' miss you. I dream, talk and wonder all the time 'what if'. We were just so up and down. In different places and mind sets and I don't know...ever since I've just written off trying to find a relationship or someone.”

Um...wow. So, we're meeting up for coffee tonight. I'm looking forward to it, mainly because I need closure and I also would like the opportunity to apologize for the way I treated him. I was pretty bad and he didn't deserve it.

Lacey asked, “What if this makes him want to try and start hanging out again?” And honestly...i don't know. I'm kind of expecting to just know when I see him. I'm not really sure how I'm going to feel. We shall see!

But, I guess that's really a story for my old blog and doesn't belong here...

I guess what I'm trying to say is that making out with go go dancers may be fun in the moment, but the next day...you'll kind of feel stupid for doing it. But then again, live life without regret!!!

Back from a Mental Vacay

November 10, 2009.

I have been so unmotivated to write these days. So basically, it's been pure laziness that has been keeping me from posting.

Well, a few things that are new in my life. I went grocery shopping yesterday and I used a ton of coupons. Over $20 in savings when I was checking out. Why have I never done that before? And how much more money could I have right now, in this moment in time if I had been doing that all along? I'm going to try and be a more efficient shopper from this point forward. Coupons make so much sense! And did you know that you can get Ralph's coupons online and print them right at home with your own printer?

I also recently went onto youtube.com to find new workout videos...I was getting tired of my usual Shred. I can only do it so often without hating it. I found a 4-min workout that is pretty damn good. Now, I know that a 4 min workout will not get me where I want to be, but it will inspire me to workout every day. When I'm not in the mood for a 30 min Shred or for a 40 min run by the beach (who doesn't love to do that?) I'll just get myself to at least do the 4min. And it usually inspires me to find another, longer workout and keep going. I think I'm going to try to do the workout every morning, just as a start to my day. I like it!

Also, my scene partner from acting class just gave me an audio book called, “The Law of Attraction” to help me focus on getting what I want from life in every aspect, not just one part of my life, but every part – relationship, career, family, friends, etc. So, I started listening to it on my way home from rehearsal today and I started incorporating it into my thinking while driving and I made it home from Studio City in about 40min, which during rush hour in L.A. is pretty darn incredible!

So, a few things I'm adding to my way of life: frugal shopping habits, quick, inspiring workouts and positive thinking...

What have you all been up to while I've been MIA? Learned something new about your life? Please share!