De-Stress at the Movies

October 26, 2009.

Tried to get up early to workout this morning, but found myself awake at 5:30am for no apparent reason, so I tried to go back to bed, then found that I didn't want to rise and shine before 8:30. Still managed to get a quick workout in and a shower and not be late for class in the valley today. That was definitely a miracle.

Class went well, then rehearsal with my scene partner for my wednesday class. I think SAM-e is affecting me because I find myself reacting to certain situations differently than I have in the past. I'm not so quick to tear up. I'm not so defensive. I'm a little bit more open and looser, ready for constructive criticism. It's good.

Today's first for me was going to see a movie to avoid rush hour traffic. I got out of my rehearsal at 4:30pm...just in time for stalled traffic. So, instead of getting a numb foot and a headache from siting in frustrating traffic, I went to see “Law Abiding Citizen” in Sherman Oaks. Man, it was a rough movie to watch. I definitely had to close my eyes at certain moments. But, it was more enjoyable than sitting in unbearable traffic.

When I finally headed back to Manhattan Beach it did take me only 35 min.

Was going to go out tonight with Nikki and Lacey, but Lacey's been feeling sick and wants to rest up before Halloween, understandably, but it was disappointing because it's been way too long since the three of us all went out together. Very sad indeed.

Well, hopefully the rest of the week will go smoothly, there's much to do! I'll keep you posted!

911 I need my Self-esteem back!!!

October 1, 2009.

Yay a new month, always exciting...

Something I learned about myself tonight. I am pathetic and have the least amount of confidence I have ever had in my entire life. This needs to stop right here and now.

I got a text from a guy friend that lives down here in M.B. asking if I was still working in the Oaks these days. I replied, “I'm not sure, why?” Because, I honestly don't know if I'm still working up there, my asshole manager didn't put me on the schedule at all this week, because I “didn't give him my schedule.” Even though I told him point blank I would always work wednesday's and saturdays up there...anywho, that's a whole other issue I need not get into at this moment.

Back to the story, so my M.B. friend goes, “One of my friends was up there and said it's Bomb and the girl working there was hot.”

I replied with, “Prolly Nikki, or was it someone hosting?”

And I got all pissed and annoyed because I'm so sick and tired of people telling me that Nikki's hot or that the little underage hostess we have working there is hot. So, I gave him short answers after that to try to end the convo as soon as possible.

Then it hit me.

Maybe that was compliment. Maybe he was referencing the fact that it could've been me, the “hot chick” his friend had seen up there. Man am I pathetic. What is wrong with me??? When did I become so ugly on the inside that I no longer view myself as pretty on the outside?

Ugh...major damage control needs to happen this week! I hate what L.A. has done to me.

* * *

Anywho, tried a new restaurant with the roomies tonight (it being our one month anniversary and all...) It's called Side Door and it's real small and cozy and chic looking. Food was delicious and despite the fact I feel fat these days, I still ate my whole burger and fries along with dessert. Sooo full....

But the food was rather good, check it out if you're ever in M.B.

Romeo, no romeo...

September 22, 2009.

What was new and exciting about today? Well, I learned a very valuable lesson about being honest with my sexual partners...one of my friends had a pretty bad STD scare and it kind of was a huge wake up call for me to ask lots and lots of questions and maybe even request paperwork before jumping into bed with Romeo.

But, thank God, after two short hours at Planned Parenthood, it turned out to be nothing more than a strange allergic reaction. We did a victory dance in the hallway of the clinic and vowed to be better to our bodies.

Walked to the Farmer's Market with Lacey when I got home and bought some most amazing tzatziki and some bruschetta and feta and sun dried tomatoes. Delicious!

Rehearsed my scene for class today. My lovely scene partner came all the way out here to rehearse with me. So nice of her! I wasn't planning on ever making anyone come all this way. I feel like we had a rather productive rehearsal, but am not sure if I feel ready to perform tomorrow in class. I really wanna blow my teacher away, I'm just not quite sure how to!

But, I'm trying!!

I feel as though I accomplished a lot today. I wrote a list out last night and I crossed off pretty much every thing except the last item, which was: Write Something Magical.

Well, that was a pretty big to do on my to do list, so naturally it hasn't gotten done yet, but I did my laundry and went for a run...that has to count for something!

I always feel somewhat unsettled with down time. I'm never quite sure what to do with it. I always try to be uber productive, but somehow end up feeling bored and lazy.

Tomorrow is the start of my out of control life that is going to be a bit nuts for the next month, maybe two. The new restaurant opens tomorrow and this next week, I'm working ever single day either down here in M.B. or up in the Oaks, as well as class on Wednesday and possibly another class on Tuesday nights in October, then rehearsals for class, readings for class, making my reel with York, writing, rehearsals for my quartet start next week, possibly re-starting rehearsals for my improv troupe...

um can we say exhaustion by the end of the year??? I'll be lucky if I have anything left by the new year!

And maybe...time for a boyfriend in there somewhere? Ha! Who'm I kidding! People don't date out here! I haven't found a solid relationship all year, what makes me think there may be one around the corner?

I guess this was how things were meant to be. If I weren't single, I'd probably have to be after this month, because I'd have no time to spend with my lovey dovey. Sorry Romeo, go get tested for STD's and by the time you get your results and all your remedies, maybe, just maybe I'll be able to catch a movie with you!

Get Busy!