Rules and Regulations

September 14, 2009.

My mom bought me a book a couple christmas' ago which I've never finished reading. I decided today's the day! It's called, "A whack on the side of the Head! How you can be more creative" by Roger Von Oech. Check it out if you're ever feeling unimaginative, it's great.

Well, I woke up this morning and started reading the next chapter: Follow the Rules. And basically, what the author is emphasizing is that we all place these rules into our lives and at the time they are placed, they're probably relevant, but then they eventually become outdated and we still follow them just because we're so used to it! So he gives an exercise at the end of each chapter and this one was to write down the rules you follow, the reason you follow them and whether they are still relevant.

Here are my rules (you should try it too...it's very eye-opening!):

1.Must abstain from sex this whole year; Because last year I had so many failed “relationships” and one night stands that I was starting to feel depleted and less of a person. My hope was that abstinence would lead to greater self-discovery and self love. I failed at abstaining the entire year, but I did make a better point of less one night stands and having more meaningful sexual encounters. I'm letting this rule go. I know my limits and I know what I'm capable of and I fear that this rule has now just become a burden because every time I do have sex, I now feel guilty, knowing that I've broken a RULE that I in fact set for myself. I have no room for guilt anymore, so I'm done. Goodbye Rule #1!!

2.Be a successful actress; Because it's all I've ever thought of being, wanted to be, and now I fear I don't know how to be anything else. Is this still a relevant rule? I think I'll keep it for a while longer. I still truly love all the aspects of being an actress and even though I'm sure I could make a living doing something else, I'd rather not. I've had a few revelations about my acting during acting classes, so I think I'm going to keep on trudging along for awhile. Rule #2, you may stay.

3.Only put $20 worth of gas in my gas tank; Because it usually gives me enough gas to get by for a few days and it doesn't make me feel like I'm spending enough to go broke. I find though that by doing this, I never have a full tank of gas (what with the disgustingly high prices out here in cali) and I worry about the condition it's leaving my car in as well as having to fill up more often. I don't think I should stay in this rut. I need to break out of it and realize that no matter how much money I put into my gas tank, I'll eventually be putting more in anyway, so why not do it all at once. Goodbye Rule #3!!

4.Go to acting class this wednesday, no matter what! Because, I don't want to look like a quitter and I want the respect of my teacher. Still relevant? I have absolutely no money in my bank account and yet, I'm still desperately trying to make this a possibility. If I just said, “no, I will wait another week.” I would have those extra work days to help me financially and probably be a little less stressed, but I do fear, not only for my teacher's disapproval, but that the longer I go without class, the harder it will be for me to re-enter and re-adjust. So, I'm hanging on to Rule #4, at least until wednesday when I decide if I do in fact have enough money to go to class.

5.The next three rules all sort of fall into the same category, so I'm clumping them together: Don't flirt, don't call, don't be obvious; Because, then you can be the one being rejected versus doing the rejecting. These all need to go. I don't want them in my vocab any longer. Who cares if I get hurt? I get hurt either way because without making my interest known, the object of my affection has no idea I'm interested and therefore won't approach either. How to go about changing this rule? Not sure, but I'm gonna try my best to break this pattern! Adios Rules 5a, b and c!!

6.Check email religiously; Because, if I don't I may miss out on an amazing casting opportunity and my inbox will become so full of emails that I will have a headache trying to go through them all. I think this rule is still somewhat relevant, but it can be adjusted. I think maybe I'll set certain times to check my email throughout the day, or perhaps set a limit. Three times is probably enough. I find myself checking at least ten times a day and that's just ridiculous. I'm not eliminating this rule, but I'm condensing it.

7.Be anonymous on my blog; Because of my old blog I was discussing my sexual exploits and innermost admissions of some very private matters so it was essential to remain anonymous, just in case la madre were to wander onto it someday. This rule, unfortunately has to remain, because my new blog is still connected to the old, it would completely give me away. I'll be honest about everything, except for my real name...Rule #7 sticks.

I've realized in my own life that rules lead to guilt...isn't it funny how we can make ourselves feel guilty? Humans are ridiculous! What are your craziest self implemented rules? Do you still need them?